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04/09/2014

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Jerry Kraft

I like this story quite a lot, Paul, but I'm really not sure about the ending. It seems to me to be just too abstract, too internalized in a way that feels like reflection taken long after the events of the story. One of the strengths of this piece is its immediacy, its sense of a spontaneous event taking place in the immediate present, but containing all the content of your history with this place, with this job. I would suggest that your ending have that same immediacy.

Darian

Um, didn't I see you at work yesterday?
*nose scrunch smiley

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