The Great PZK Giveaway

Even after a quarter of a century, I still don’t know whom to give my plays once I’m finished drafting them. No one really wants to read a play, and I don’t blame them. Plays aren’t meant to be read. I have less trouble convincing people to come see my plays, but in order for that to happen, someone has to read them first, right? It is this catch-22, multiplied by others, that is nudging me elsewhere, but before I go I have to figure out what to do with my final script, Philosophical Zombie Killers.

When I am at a loss for what to do in a given situation, I sometimes try to make a game out of it. So here’s what I have come up with:

I will make 13 hardcopies of Philosophical Zombie Killers, and you will tell me where to send them. If you know of an institution or development opportunity that you think, based on the character breakdown and synopsis attached below, will leap at the chance to produce this play’s world premiere, terrific! Put that organization’s information in the comments. If, on the other hand, you just want a copy of the play for your own personal pleasure, to have and hoard, that’s fine too. Just let me know in the comments, and we’ll work together off line to determine the best way for me to get it to you.

I will make 13 copies. Just 13. You will tell me what to do with them. First come, first serve. And that’s the end of it. I agree this solution might seem a touch asinine, but really, no more so than any of the other ways I have pointlessly distributed my plays over the last 25 years.

So, it’s up to you. What should I do?

PS, if you just want to hear the play read out loud by some pretty terrific actors (and myself) just come to Freehold Theatre, on Saturday night, September 14. Here’s more info on that: https://www.facebook.com/events/181930878655353/

SYNOPSIS

The graduate level seminar is about human consciousness. Or at least that’s what you thought when you signed up for it. Now some-one’s telling you that you’re 45 years old and that you’re dying. You certainly didn’t sign up for that. Now this alcoholic professor is asking you to explain consciousness to him. And this depressed ex-cop from Missouri is telling you about the epidemic of decapitations in Seattle. And this weird lady from Omnisoft just wants you to admit that there’s no such thing as consciousness and no such thing as you for that matter. Could she possibly be right? Might make dying easier.

Wait.

Who said you were dying?

 

Time:    Now and 23 years ago

Place:   Here, a university lecture hall, a loft in Pioneer Square

Characters:

• Bill, a man in his 40’s
• Simon, a man in his 40’s to 60’s
• Susan, a woman in her 40’s

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Comments

[Kymberlee della Luce]

I would be quite delighted to have a copy because the reading that I attended made me both think and feel. I was explaining to my daughter how there aren't just 4 directions, but 7. I include up, down and inner as directions. Your writing embodies the awareness of that.

My plans for your play include reading it for my own personal pleasure and inquiry and to inspire me to keep writing.

I might also stage it because I want to see that happen. Either way, I would love to be on your list, you brilliant creature.

[Paul Mullin]

You got it, Kymberlee. Your script will be signed and hand number 1 of 13.

[Matthew Sweeney00]

I want you to mail a copy to the public library in my hometown of Brookings, SD. I'm hoping some kid will come for the zombies and the killing but stay for the philosophy. I'll email you the contact info.

[Paul Mullin]

Matt, got your message with the address of the Brookings Library and I will send them a copy of the script ASAP.

How fun!

11 left!

[Matthew Sweeney00]

Actually--strike that. Is it too late for me to change my order? Send it to my friend JD Ackman. He's an old chum and former mentor who's a current professor (and mentor, I presume) at the university in my hometown. It may sit around in an office somewhere, but some young punk might pick it up. You might even get a production and the chance to visit eastern South Dakota out of the deal.

I'm, like, the best friend ever.

[Jerry Kraft]

I'd love to read your play, Paul, and I'd be happy to pass it along to any organization that I think would be interested in producing it, and that could do it justice.

1130 E 9th St.
Port Angeles, WA. 98362

[Michael Doyle]

Try this company in Cape May. It's the Seattle of the, um, Jersey cape. http://eastlynnetheater.org

(The ducks are not happy....)

[David]

Don't know if going to the show is a disqualifier, but I do know my copy of Philosophes could use some company ...

[Paul Mullin]

Mr. Penn, you are on the list! And I can't imagine how anyone but you could possibly own both plays. In fact, I don't even know if *I* own a copy of PHILOSOPHES. (I guess I better check that.)

[Ray Nedzel]

I don't have a copy of Philosphes either, but I've read it, twice - on dot matrix print out -- and saw the world premiere. Anyway, I'd gladly buy a copy of PZK, but if you so choose to give a copy to a guy who'd buy one...

439 Woodhaven Court
Charlottesville, VA 22902

Thanx,
Pope

[Daryl Hrdlicka]

I would like to have a copy. I;m a playwright and enjoy reading them myself, but I'm also part of a theater group that's always looking for something new to perform.

[Paul Mullin]

Of course I'll send you one, Ray Ray. I'd love for you to have it.

[Paul Mullin]

Daryl, how exciting. Thanks for reaching out. I'll email you my email address and then you can send me back the best snail mail address to send the script.

[Jennifer Pratt]

I deserve a copy. I need it. Want it. Will run to the rooftops with it.

[Paul Mullin]

Yes you DO deserve a copy, Ms. Pratt. And you and the rooftops shall have one!

Thanks!

[Bill Salyers]

It seems appropriate that I have one on my bookshelf to complete my extensive collection of Mullinalia (also, I'd like to have a souvenir of our first Seattle reading). I would like to request one, with the caveat that, if you run short of copies to give to producing entities, you do that with it, instead.
I won't post my address here, in case I still owe people money from my time in your fair city.
Thank you.

[Paul Mullin]

Yay, Billy. I'm glad a copy will rest with you, since you were there with this play since before the beginning. And don't worry about producers. Unless someone suggests one, they won't be getting a copy, unless they can maybe later convince one of the Benevolent 13 to give up one of their copies. Or, if somebody speaks up for them in the last five slots.

[Brad Paulis]

I was thinking the same think as Bill Salyers. I would prefer a producer to have a copy, but would love to have one.

[Paul Mullin]

Awesome, Brad! You got it. And you'll just have to trust me re: producers. The play's much better off in your hands.

[Chrisburlingame]

Oooh, I would love one of copies of PZK! It would go very well on my shelf next to my eBook copy of Louis Slotin Sonata.

[Gary Smoot]

Would love to "read" it Paul (I will, I will!) I hate to burn one of the 13 ... But if it's my only option... Or maybe I could ask Salyers to go Kinkos... Or is that cheating?

[Paul Mullin]

Awesome, Chris Burlingame. We'll get you a copy!

[Paul Mullin]

Okay, I'm going to make a provisional multi-part ruling. As much as I love my unique vision of Smoot and Salyers bent over a Xerox machine together-- so much that I'm forced to rule that it would NOT be cheating-- I'm going to get you your own copy, because you and Bill have given your all for my stupid plays over the years, and the best reward I can offer is another stupid play. The very last one.

[Andy Jensen]

I'll take one so I can show my kids what a play looks like before it's on stage.

[Paul Mullin]

Awesome, Andy. You got it.