The New You Boat (Mini-Act I)

A note on the generation of the play...

The playwright Matthew Fielding died in 1984, having only completed the first act of his last play, “The New You Boat”.  Unfinished works are a fact of life-- or rather death-- in the world of literature, but there are those that believe that this was no accident.  Fielding mentioned no other work by name in his will, but the first act of the mini-two act play “The New You Boat” was specifically designated to be placed in the public domain where anyone who so chose could attempt to finish it.  Also, in eerie contrast to his habit, Fielding left no notes on the work, no outlines for the second act, no references to its conception or development in his journal-- nothing, but the perfectly formed first act.  Finally, the script is rife with digital and quantum imagery as well as linguistic conundrums and self-referential, anti-algorithmic riddles that could have only be intentionally designed for one purpose: to confound an artificially intelligent creative consciousness.

Writing the first act of “The New You Boat” was a consummate act of defiance on Fielding’s part: a reaching back from the finality of death itself to throw down one last gauntlet before his late-life intellectual adversaries-- the proponents of artificial intelligence.  Most artists have an inherent antipathy and distrust of the scientific method.  Matthew Fielding embraced it.  He welcomed contending viewpoints from those who challenged the anthropocentric idea that only human beings are capable of consciousness and creativity.  He was as willing to be proven wrong by them as he was eager to prove them wrong.

In fall of 1995, under the auspices of an unprecedented co-bequest of the National Endowment for the Arts and the National Security Administration, an elite team of thinkers, scientists and artists called the Creative Cognition Development Group, was formed to meet the challenge of completing a master work of art solely using computer generated artificial consciousness.  A mega-program, made up of literally billions of complex, interconnected algorithms needed to be designed, tested and implemented.  It was.  On January 1, 1999, OCCAM (Omni-interfacial Creative Consciousness Algorithm Matrix) was born.  In a little over two years (roughly two-hundred times longer than experts believe it took Fielding to write the first half) OCCAM completed the “The New You Boat”.

We at the CCDG, on behalf of the late Matthew Fielding, and indeed, OCCAM itself, invite you to judge the results.

 

Mini-Act I
by
Matthew Fielding

 

COMMANDER QUARK:  Accept no substitutes.  This is the New You Boat.  Rot your Roger.  We'll go wilco.  Seaman Meson, state your state us.

 

SEAMAN MESON:  Aye, aye, Commander.  Fear/desire drive alive and churning our screw through the New You blue bluer blue bluer than blue black-blue blacker than blue bluer than blacker than bluer than bluer than blacker than bluest blacker-blue-black back to you new boat.

 

COMMANDER QUARK:  Rot your that.  Helmsman Hadron.

 

HELMSMAN HADRON:  Aye, aye, Commander.  New You of course bearing naught stroke one not one stroke one approaching asymptote of ascertaining our approach on points pertaining to why we lie below and die with always something shy of sky's the limit asymptotically speaking of course...  bearing...  naught stroke one not one—

 

COMMANDER QUARK:  Helsman—

 

HELMSMAN HADRON:  Aye.

 

COMMANDER QUARK:  Cut your jib and maintain prescient course.

 

HELMSMAN HADRON:  I, Commander, will go--

 

COMMANDER QUARK:  We'll always go.

 

HELMSMAN HADRON:  Wilco.  Aye.  Shall I dive for you?

 

COMMANDER QUARK:  Aye, Helmsman, do.  Dive for depth perception zero nautical knots naught stroke one.

 

HELMSMAN HADRON:  Rot your that.  Will do dive.

 

COMMANDER QUARK:  Bosun Boson.

 

BOSUN BOSON:  Aye the hull is sound the hull is true sounding truly true sounds sounding through function of faith further function of fear further function of falling facing turning churning our screw through the new you black and blue back to blue black to you new boat.

 

COMMANDER QUARK:  Wheel go.  And scuttle button?

 

BOSUN BOSON:  Check, set, wired, tested, all systems go for detonating preset charges blowing bright holes in the hull holes opening hell holds flooding all held hells blowing all holes whole crushing us blinder than we already are.

 

COMMANDER QUARK:  Rot sure.  Ensign Neutrino.

 

ENSIGN NEUTRINO:  Aye, communications check.  All bands scanned reading random noise with single signal exception.

 

COMMANDER QUARK:  Explicate.

 

ENSIGN NEUTRINO:  Explication: constantly variable incessant inbeaming binary beacon begins again new...  again now...  again...

 

COMMANDER QUARK:  Transcribe.

 

ENSIGN NEUTRINO:  I eye transcript sans script:  all in code.

 

COMMANDER QUARK:  Crack it.

 

ENSIGN NEUTRINO:  We'll go.  Cracking...
      Standby....
      In crypt cracked.

 

COMMANDER QUARK:  Transcribe.

 

ENSIGN NEUTRINO:  Sans script transcript crypt cracked:  “Begin in crypt:  Knew you u no u r Schrödinger's Cat in a Chinese Box garbage day in and garbage day out.  Only amplitudes abound, always anchors away angers awash encore's a wish awhile awaiting a future in crypt.  End in crypt."

 

COMMANDER QUARK:  Rot sure.  Lieutenant Lepton.

 

LIEUTENANT LEPTON:  Morale modems monitor multitudinous mutinies multifariously manifesting melanomic demonic mnemonic nominal monomaniacal numb mum hum.

 

COMMANDER QUARK:  Recommendation.

 

LIEUTENANT LEPTON:  Punch scuttle.  Blow held hull holes.  Collapse wave function.  Annihilate boundlessly abounding anger-anchored amplitudes.  Commence consummation devoutly to be wished awhile a waiting future in crypt.

 

COMMANDER QUARK:  Duly noted, negated, belayed and belied.  Standing course and orders stand still.
      Fire control command commander, I, Commander Quark, report all fire control systems all systems go set to blow ballistic bastions blasting out of the new you up through the black blue into the true you who new nothing mirvs spurt from seven brahmaning bridegrooms for seven continental eggs benedicted to break fast break hard over easy.
      Your new you crew stasis state us stated and standing for inspection, Captain Quasar.

 

CAPTAIN QUASAR:  All hands and seaman:  this is your captain.
      This night of all nights, eve of day of all days, it's apt and auspicious to remember this mission's vital import and portent.
      It's not unreasonable to reason that the surfaces served have unremembered never knew you.  In their seasonal celebration of crisp coming bright they overlook that new true black blue heavy water U light: salvo salvation of nations.  You, New You, alone blow the glow coals that flash the steam that churns the turning screw through this bluer blacker than blue.  New You knew alone the crypt code, held hull holes, and ballistic bastions basking below.
    Last day I asleeped from a recurring reality, an ornery ontogeny oven on conscious corrective: little legged spermed-eggs doing the Chinese roomboom.  "Never knew you, New You." Say they you away.  "Never knew you, New Nothing." But whenwhere nothing exists, nothing's something liable to litter little nothings and break brittle little somethings into anything new you want.  What's to be?  What's to become?  What's to be becomes becoming through what little little legged spermed-eggs beg they never knew of New You.
      Tonight, Eve of all eves, a decision must be come to: a becoming to be come and gone.  Always knew you that this point in space of time would come.  One switch to give two options, two of which to give four, only one of which can be, taking three to key.
      Bosun Boson, man your switch.

 

BOSUN BOSON:  I eye scuttle button, one push to blow held hull holes.

 

CAPTAIN QUASAR:  Commander Quark, man your switch.

 

COMMANDER QUARK:  I eye fire control set to blast bastions ballistic.

 

CAPTAIN QUASAR:  Ensign Neutrino, appraise amplitude array.

 

ENSIGN NEUTRINO:  I eye amplitude array all appraised:  four singular states in play.

 

CAPTAIN QUASAR:  Pray, Ensign, state states arrayed.

 

ENSIGN NEUTRINO:  Off and off.  On and off.  Off and on.  On and on.

 

CAPTAIN QUASAR:  Translate arrayed stated states.

 

ENSIGN NEUTRINO:  Live/let live.  Die/let live.  Live/kill.  Die/kill.

 

CAPTAIN QUASAR:  Lieutenant Lepton, commence crew key conviction config query.

 

LIEUTENANT LEPTON:  I eye key config query commencing in sub conn descending rank order.
      Captain Quasar, select your suffrage.

 

CAPTAIN QUASAR:  Live/kill.

 

LIEUTENANT LEPTON:  Commander Quark.

 

COMMANDER QUARK:  Die/kill.

 

LIEUTENANT LEPTON:  Lieutenant Lepton:  die/let live.
      Ensign Neutrino.

 

ENSIGN NEUTRINO:  Live/kill.

 

LIEUTENANT LEPTON:  I eye two to key live/kill.
      Bosun Boson.

 

BOSUN BOSON:  Die/let live.

 

LIEUTENANT LEPTON:  We'll go two to key die/let live.
      Helmsman Hadron.

 

HELMSMAN HADRON:  Die/kill.

 

LIEUTENANT LEPTON:  Rot sure two to key die/kill.  Three out of four suffrages be two to key.  What say thee, Seaman Meson?
SEAMAN MESON:  Suffrage me to live/let live.

 

CAPTAIN QUASAR:  Nothing cums, Seaman, of nothing.

 

SEAMAN MESON:  Rot sure, Captain.

 

CAPTAIN QUASAR:  Recast, Seaman.

 

SEAMAN MESON:  Rot your recasting, Captain.  Resuffrage me to live/let live.

 

CAPTAIN QUASAR:  Suffrage denied.  Switch or surrender.

 

SEAMAN MESON:  I switch off and off.

 

CAPTAIN QUASAR:  No.  On or on or on and on.

 

SEAMAN MESON:  I eye but off and off.

 

CAPTAIN QUASAR:  Damn you.  You knew you damn new you to lose, never loose, the name of action.  You knew New You to live/let live is nothing but not nothing.  Switch one on.

 

SEAMAN MESON:  No on.

 

CAPTAIN QUASAR (simultaneously):  On, on, on, on, on, on, on.

 

SEAMAN MESON (simultaneously):  No, no, no, no, no, no, no. 

 

COMMANDER QUARK:  Captain.

 

CAPTAIN QUASAR:  I.

 

COMMANDER QUARK:  Permission to break the stale Seaman mate.

 

CAPTAIN QUASAR:  Explicate.

 

COMMANDER QUARK:  I to eye switch conviction recon fig. from die to live/kill.

 

CAPTAIN QUASAR:  Knew you to do this?

 

COMMANDER QUARK:  Aye but only new newly now.  Night of all nights.

 

CAPTAIN QUASAR:  Eve of all ease of all griefs.

 

LIEUTENANT LEPTON:  Three now to key live/kill.

 

CAPTAIN QUASAR:  Then commence live/kill key confiq sequence.

 

LIEUTENANT LEPTON:  Eye, Ensign Neutrino, key in.

 

ENSIGN NEUTRINO:  Keying.

 

LIEUTENANT LEPTON:  Commander Quark.  ¿Quien?

 

COMMANDER QUARK:  Keen.

 

LIEUTENANT LEPTON:  Captain Quasar.  Kin?

 

CAPTAIN QUASAR:  King.  Of all kin a little less than kind, of all knights a little more than dazed; wrecks raineth omni-pittance in salve ocean.

 

LIEUTENANT LEPTON:  Key confiq complete.

 

COMMANDER QUARK:  Fire control armed.

 

CAPTAIN QUASAR:  Fire at will.

 

COMMANDER QUARK:  Request countdown.

 

CAPTAIN QUASAR:  I eye granite.  Seven.

 

COMMANDER QUARK:  Seven.

 

LIEUTENANT LEPTON:  Seven.

 

ENSIGN NEUTRINO:  Seven.

 

BOSUN BOSON:  Seven.

 

HELMSMAN HADRON:  Seven.

 

SEAMAN MESON:  Seven.

 

COMMANDER QUARK:  Six.

 

LIEUTENANT LEPTON:  Six.

 

ENSIGN NEUTRINO:  Six.

 

BOSUN BOSON:  Six.

 

HELMSMAN HADRON:  Six.

 

SEAMAN MESON:  Six.

 

LIEUTENANT LEPTON:  Five.

 

ENSIGN NEUTRINO:  Five.

 

BOSUN BOSON:  Five.

 

HELMSMAN HADRON:  Five.

 

SEAMAN MESON:  Five.

 

ENSIGN NEUTRINO:  Four.

 

BOSUN BOSON:  Four.

 

HELMSMAN HADRON:  Four.

 

SEAMAN MESON:  Four.

 

BOSUN BOSON:  Three.

 

HELMSMAN HADRON:  Three.

 

SEAMAN MESON:  Three.

 

HELMSMAN HADRON:  Two.

 

SEAMAN MESON:  Two.  One.

 

(Blackout. End Mini-Act I.)

 

 

Continue to Mini-Act II by O.C.C.A.M.

Comments

[Wesley K. Andrews]

I love it. P.s. I read this on my phone within my Twitter app.

[Paul Mullin]

Cool, Wesley!

Stay tuned for Mini-Act II!